Wisely, the year ends
In the cold calm of winter
Look back, look forward.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
My stupid hair again.
Okay, I know I've wasted two haikus on the pain of growing out my hair in winter (aka "hat season"). This probably is a gross disarrangement of the zen calm that is supposed to accompany the art of the haiku. But seriously, the hat-on, hat-off process gives a whole new dimension to the concept of "fugly". [fugly = freakin' ugly]
It's not as if I have many options. Headbands, hair products, clips, etc. are great for not looking deranged every day. At the beginning. But add the darned (but necessary) hat? It takes me from "passable" to "oh, heck no, honey," in about five seconds. Yippee.
Yes, leaving the hat on is an option, if it's a beret. If it's the full Dr. Zhivago sheepskin thang I wear in sub-zero weather, it so isn't an option. Hey, I'm northern -that's the way it is. What's my alternative? Pneumonia, snapped off ears?
Upon further reflection, I think snapped-0ff ears are probably more fugly than my mashed, Albert-Einstein-on-steroids look. Of course, the fact that my mother has been making disapproving comments every time she sees me is not helping. "How long are you going to grow it?" (This is said in a 'what-are-you thinking' tone). "I just know you'll cut it all off the next time I see you." (This is said in a "please-God" tone.) Thanks, Mom. It may have been a mistake to allow her to think this was "our" hair. It isn't.
I'll look better by next Christmas, I'm sure.
It's not as if I have many options. Headbands, hair products, clips, etc. are great for not looking deranged every day. At the beginning. But add the darned (but necessary) hat? It takes me from "passable" to "oh, heck no, honey," in about five seconds. Yippee.
Yes, leaving the hat on is an option, if it's a beret. If it's the full Dr. Zhivago sheepskin thang I wear in sub-zero weather, it so isn't an option. Hey, I'm northern -that's the way it is. What's my alternative? Pneumonia, snapped off ears?
Upon further reflection, I think snapped-0ff ears are probably more fugly than my mashed, Albert-Einstein-on-steroids look. Of course, the fact that my mother has been making disapproving comments every time she sees me is not helping. "How long are you going to grow it?" (This is said in a 'what-are-you thinking' tone). "I just know you'll cut it all off the next time I see you." (This is said in a "please-God" tone.) Thanks, Mom. It may have been a mistake to allow her to think this was "our" hair. It isn't.
I'll look better by next Christmas, I'm sure.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Haiku du jour trois - I'm way behind!
If you want true love,
Let a cat lay on your heart,
Kneading with soft paws.
Let a cat lay on your heart,
Kneading with soft paws.
Haiku du jour again
Soon, Christmas carols
Will fill the air with their cheer,
Like ragweed in spring.
Will fill the air with their cheer,
Like ragweed in spring.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Another Haiku du jour (I missed a few)
A sleepy gray day
Dark, rainy, cold, and sluggish
Wants to sleep in, too.
Dark, rainy, cold, and sluggish
Wants to sleep in, too.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
My stupid hair (Part 1 of many)
I am an idiot.
I am growing out my hair from a very short cut, because I decided I want girl hair.
Girl hair is hair long enough to move, hair that acts as an anchor for artistic hair toys, hair that can be shaped into many shapes. Hair that may draw the eye of eligible bachelors. Girl hair.
Unfortunately, unless my hair is very short or very long, it is Albert Einstein hair - on steroids. It is "why-doesn't-she-do-something" hair. I am way, way into the ugly phase. I am at that point where no headband, no gel will make my hair look less deranged. I just have to accept it. And I do, even when it morphs after lunch into new and more irritating forms. It just what my stupid hair does.
Sticking out all 'round,
A horrible display.
Growing my hair sucks.
I am growing out my hair from a very short cut, because I decided I want girl hair.
Girl hair is hair long enough to move, hair that acts as an anchor for artistic hair toys, hair that can be shaped into many shapes. Hair that may draw the eye of eligible bachelors. Girl hair.
Unfortunately, unless my hair is very short or very long, it is Albert Einstein hair - on steroids. It is "why-doesn't-she-do-something" hair. I am way, way into the ugly phase. I am at that point where no headband, no gel will make my hair look less deranged. I just have to accept it. And I do, even when it morphs after lunch into new and more irritating forms. It just what my stupid hair does.
Sticking out all 'round,
A horrible display.
Growing my hair sucks.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
In Memorium
I have just killed my second -no, my third! - Miss Bimbo, Delysia22. Her precursors were Savannah 11 and DeltaSue11. It's fun for awhile, and then, like a Tamagatchi, the drudgery sets in. Not to mention the increasing time suck, and the pressure to tender real cash for Bimbo dollars just to speed up the process. I have made it to level 9, and gave my bimbo the plastic surgery, which made her look - uh - plastic. Next is the boob job. I refuse to spend evening after evening slowly saving up for plastic bosoms. I have a life. I have sunsets to watch, household chores to perform, friends to contact. Enough is enough.
Haiku for Delysia 22:
Pretty cartoon face
Many bimbo points racked up
Delete button pushed.
Haiku for Delysia 22:
Pretty cartoon face
Many bimbo points racked up
Delete button pushed.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
No to Sex with the Ex
Everyone advises against sex with the ex. Experts, Oprah, your mama, your girlfriend. They all say "even if it feels good, don't do it. You're just selling your self cheap to someone who doesn't appreciate you. Pearls before swine, girl."
With ex-boyfriends, it's not a problem. When I am through with someone, I am through. I don't want any contact. Ick. And if I've been dumped? I would only go near them to be really, really mean to them. So, I don't go near them. Easy.
With ex-employers, it's dicier, especially during a recession. I'm a Chrysler buyout - I took the money and ran, before there was no buyout money and no jobs. I call it my amicable divorce, with no-worries alimony. One nice lump sum, even after Uncle Sam's cut.
Despite my post-divorce euphoria, Mr. Ex (Chrysler) sometimes looks good. I had great pay and benefits. I was used to Mr. Ex's dysfunction, which is unlike the job market's dysfunction. I had direct deposit, and I knew the paycheck covered everything. Maybe, I think, with all those other people gone, I'd have a chance to shine. Maybe Mr. Ex would be sweet to me in appreciation for my many talents and skills, and many long hours of unpaid overtime.
So, when one of my similarly divorced colleagues applied for a contract position (which we were told was permissible), the word came back through the grapevine that buyout people were not welcome. We could apply, but we would not be chosen. We're unclean. We are traitors - for what? Taking the offer that upper managment was probably praying we'd take? I guess so. Gosh, Mr. Ex. Sorry your feelings were hurt. Sorry I used my brain and decided that Definitely Something was better than Maybe Nothing. Gee. Where's the bell for my neck?
But I'm sure it was hurtful for my colleague. Whether it's the flat-out jealousy of those left behind, or a management bias, or just a way to get "new blood" into a troubled company, it's not nice to hear the employment equivalent of "not you, you stink". Especially when you've downscaled and aren't getting called in for interviews. Why not, one says, try one more dance, for old times sake? We were good for each other once, we may be good again.
But the truth is, Mr. Ex and I are "exes" for a very solid reason - the good -for-each-other-flow ended. Mr. Ex was Prince Charming on paper and in legend, but Prince Alarming in reality. And then, after flogging the masses to "do more with less", Prince Alarming had to file for bankruptcy after all. No more Prince. No more Prince benefits. No more dysfunction, either, which was nice. Dancing with Mr. Ex seemed to steal more of my life with every dollar it put into my bank account. Like in fairy tales, when people are forced to dance in red-hot iron shoes at a ball until they fall down dead? Should be a fun party, but really isn't.
So, I'd like to say to my colleagues - go forward, not back. Say "no" to sex with Mr. Ex, even if he has a few coins in his pockets. He will never love you, no matter who you are, or how much you do for him. Go find a real prince for your life. This time, I hope, he won't be made of paper.
With ex-boyfriends, it's not a problem. When I am through with someone, I am through. I don't want any contact. Ick. And if I've been dumped? I would only go near them to be really, really mean to them. So, I don't go near them. Easy.
With ex-employers, it's dicier, especially during a recession. I'm a Chrysler buyout - I took the money and ran, before there was no buyout money and no jobs. I call it my amicable divorce, with no-worries alimony. One nice lump sum, even after Uncle Sam's cut.
Despite my post-divorce euphoria, Mr. Ex (Chrysler) sometimes looks good. I had great pay and benefits. I was used to Mr. Ex's dysfunction, which is unlike the job market's dysfunction. I had direct deposit, and I knew the paycheck covered everything. Maybe, I think, with all those other people gone, I'd have a chance to shine. Maybe Mr. Ex would be sweet to me in appreciation for my many talents and skills, and many long hours of unpaid overtime.
So, when one of my similarly divorced colleagues applied for a contract position (which we were told was permissible), the word came back through the grapevine that buyout people were not welcome. We could apply, but we would not be chosen. We're unclean. We are traitors - for what? Taking the offer that upper managment was probably praying we'd take? I guess so. Gosh, Mr. Ex. Sorry your feelings were hurt. Sorry I used my brain and decided that Definitely Something was better than Maybe Nothing. Gee. Where's the bell for my neck?
But I'm sure it was hurtful for my colleague. Whether it's the flat-out jealousy of those left behind, or a management bias, or just a way to get "new blood" into a troubled company, it's not nice to hear the employment equivalent of "not you, you stink". Especially when you've downscaled and aren't getting called in for interviews. Why not, one says, try one more dance, for old times sake? We were good for each other once, we may be good again.
But the truth is, Mr. Ex and I are "exes" for a very solid reason - the good -for-each-other-flow ended. Mr. Ex was Prince Charming on paper and in legend, but Prince Alarming in reality. And then, after flogging the masses to "do more with less", Prince Alarming had to file for bankruptcy after all. No more Prince. No more Prince benefits. No more dysfunction, either, which was nice. Dancing with Mr. Ex seemed to steal more of my life with every dollar it put into my bank account. Like in fairy tales, when people are forced to dance in red-hot iron shoes at a ball until they fall down dead? Should be a fun party, but really isn't.
So, I'd like to say to my colleagues - go forward, not back. Say "no" to sex with Mr. Ex, even if he has a few coins in his pockets. He will never love you, no matter who you are, or how much you do for him. Go find a real prince for your life. This time, I hope, he won't be made of paper.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Read, dammit
Okay. Times are tough, right? And we should all do our bit to not make things harder, right? You think this might be a reasonable approach to our current situation? Maybe?
Hey, I admit it - I'm biased. I have a special front row seat in the trenches - I work for one of Michigan's fine employment agencies. I see a lot of people in a lot of situations, mostly hurting. I see the amount of need has increased, but the staffing hasn't. Problemmatic? Definitely.
Given that we're all in this together, it might make sense for us to pull together to get through. So, to all of us dealing with stress, anger, tanked investments, and a shrunken or absent paycheck, I have one little request:
READ, dammit.
Read the stuff that shows up in the mail.
Read your emails, your newspapers, your resumes and your job fair flyers.
Do not walk into a service agency with your mail, and expect someone to read it for you - clarify things, yes, freakin' read it to you like a bedtime story, no. Hell, no. But it happens on a daily basis in my place of business.
You need an example? Here's one. I helped stuff over 2,000 envelopes with important outplacement letters. I saw this letter so many times, I memorized it. I can even read it for people over the phone without having it in front of my face.
It goes like this:
Client: "I got this letter from your office, and I want to know what it means."
Me: "Is it regarding TAA benefits?"
Client: (Long pause) "Yeah . . . yeah. What do I do with this?"
Me: "Look down towards the bottom, do you see an orientation date and location?"
Client: (Longer pause) "Yeah, I see it now . . . . ."
And so on - you get the drift.
Just my opinion here, but I think that failing to follow directions regarding money or benefits is a Bad Thing. Don't do it. You could miss the boat.
Read, dammit. Even if it has too many words, or is raising issues that you'd rather not deal with at the moment, read it. Cut yourself - and the world - some slack. Use your mind and expand it through reading. The mind is the best and most reliable competitive advantage anyone has right now. Tuning out is not going to impress anyone, especially someone with a paycheck to hand out.
In short, publicly demonstrating that you can't-won't-don't read might make you flunk the interview. Maybe? You think?
Go read up on it - your wallet and your I.Q. will thank you.
Hey, I admit it - I'm biased. I have a special front row seat in the trenches - I work for one of Michigan's fine employment agencies. I see a lot of people in a lot of situations, mostly hurting. I see the amount of need has increased, but the staffing hasn't. Problemmatic? Definitely.
Given that we're all in this together, it might make sense for us to pull together to get through. So, to all of us dealing with stress, anger, tanked investments, and a shrunken or absent paycheck, I have one little request:
READ, dammit.
Read the stuff that shows up in the mail.
Read your emails, your newspapers, your resumes and your job fair flyers.
Do not walk into a service agency with your mail, and expect someone to read it for you - clarify things, yes, freakin' read it to you like a bedtime story, no. Hell, no. But it happens on a daily basis in my place of business.
You need an example? Here's one. I helped stuff over 2,000 envelopes with important outplacement letters. I saw this letter so many times, I memorized it. I can even read it for people over the phone without having it in front of my face.
It goes like this:
Client: "I got this letter from your office, and I want to know what it means."
Me: "Is it regarding TAA benefits?"
Client: (Long pause) "Yeah . . . yeah. What do I do with this?"
Me: "Look down towards the bottom, do you see an orientation date and location?"
Client: (Longer pause) "Yeah, I see it now . . . . ."
And so on - you get the drift.
Just my opinion here, but I think that failing to follow directions regarding money or benefits is a Bad Thing. Don't do it. You could miss the boat.
Read, dammit. Even if it has too many words, or is raising issues that you'd rather not deal with at the moment, read it. Cut yourself - and the world - some slack. Use your mind and expand it through reading. The mind is the best and most reliable competitive advantage anyone has right now. Tuning out is not going to impress anyone, especially someone with a paycheck to hand out.
In short, publicly demonstrating that you can't-won't-don't read might make you flunk the interview. Maybe? You think?
Go read up on it - your wallet and your I.Q. will thank you.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Number People vs People People
People-people are great, aren't they? They hold your hand, give you a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and they generally make you feel that everything will be all right eventually. I don't mind sharing the planet with them at all, as they are often willing - God bless them - to deal with people I don't even want to be near - criminals and the like.
However.
People-people are often not gifted when it comes to providing numbers. You know, statistics that answer the inevitable management question of "what have you done for me lately"? That question? A number-person will give me chapter and verse, usually in a nice spreadsheet. It's clear, accurate, with well-defined parameters.
A people-person does not do that - they pluck some numbers out of thin air, shove them into an email quickly, and go on to much more important tasks, leaving the recipient (let's say, me) to use my ESP to figure out what their figures mean. If the figures show up at all.
Each week, I request figures from about two dozen people-people, and the range of responses (despite my helpful examples and grids) is about two dozen. This week, one guy got it right. One. This does not bode well for my day.
Me? Oh, yeah. I'm a number-person. Does it show?
However.
People-people are often not gifted when it comes to providing numbers. You know, statistics that answer the inevitable management question of "what have you done for me lately"? That question? A number-person will give me chapter and verse, usually in a nice spreadsheet. It's clear, accurate, with well-defined parameters.
A people-person does not do that - they pluck some numbers out of thin air, shove them into an email quickly, and go on to much more important tasks, leaving the recipient (let's say, me) to use my ESP to figure out what their figures mean. If the figures show up at all.
Each week, I request figures from about two dozen people-people, and the range of responses (despite my helpful examples and grids) is about two dozen. This week, one guy got it right. One. This does not bode well for my day.
Me? Oh, yeah. I'm a number-person. Does it show?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Jay Leno's Free Show for Detroit
Jay Leno, being a nice guy, is bringing a little joy to Detroit with a free show. And what happened? Some whiner - oh, yeah, a city councilperson - decided to go on and on about how the Silverdome was not Detroit, blah-blah-blah. For the record, Silverdome has parking - for the unemployed people, remember them? - can handle large crowds, and is centrally located. Points to Jay, and his booking of the second show.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
VIACOM HEARD MY RANT!!
Well, I started my day with a nasty note to VIACOM regarding Chris Brown and the Kids Choice awards and the stars aligned and he is no longer associated with the show.
I just my suggestion that they "grow a pair" and speak up against domestic violence may have struck a chord with them. I will still be removing them ( Nickelodeon) as a preset from my remote control this evening just to make a statement - so there!!!
Jody
Well, I started my day with a nasty note to VIACOM regarding Chris Brown and the Kids Choice awards and the stars aligned and he is no longer associated with the show.
I just my suggestion that they "grow a pair" and speak up against domestic violence may have struck a chord with them. I will still be removing them ( Nickelodeon) as a preset from my remote control this evening just to make a statement - so there!!!
Jody
Chris Brown and his Kid's Choice Award
He's still getting it? Puh-leeze. He gets the prize, the fame, and the girl he smacked around?
How about just saying no? (yeah, what a concept.) Rihanna, rethink this, babe.
How about just saying no? (yeah, what a concept.) Rihanna, rethink this, babe.
Opening Day
Wow. Our very first blog.
"We" are two displaced Chrysler wild women who have been well-behaved for much too long.
As we sat at our post-auto industry temp jobs, making the world rational for other displaced people, our real voices started to come out. And our real voices may have started to make our co-workers a little bit crazy.
So, being generous of heart and highly caffeinated, we decided that our opinons/ideas/views needed a bigger stage than one weeny office, and so do yours.
Welcome to our Harangue - feel free to share. "Better out than in," as Shrek would say. Just keep it clean, civil, and focused. And please use Standard English as much as possible - we think it's starting to die out.
Finally, we will edit/delete/block as our tastes and public decency standards dictate.
Julie and Jody, Founding BlogBaebes
"We" are two displaced Chrysler wild women who have been well-behaved for much too long.
As we sat at our post-auto industry temp jobs, making the world rational for other displaced people, our real voices started to come out. And our real voices may have started to make our co-workers a little bit crazy.
So, being generous of heart and highly caffeinated, we decided that our opinons/ideas/views needed a bigger stage than one weeny office, and so do yours.
Welcome to our Harangue - feel free to share. "Better out than in," as Shrek would say. Just keep it clean, civil, and focused. And please use Standard English as much as possible - we think it's starting to die out.
Finally, we will edit/delete/block as our tastes and public decency standards dictate.
Enjoy!
Julie and Jody, Founding BlogBaebes
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