My new hobby calls
For sequins and sparkly shoes.
The magpie effect.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Burlesque Diary - Introducing Stella Soiree
Miss Stella Soiree, beginner (very) burlesque dancer, made her debut in my basement tonight. It was about time I got out the feathers, heels, tape, and pasties, and put my new dance skills to use. Along with bumping, grinding, and losing the damn right pastie about three times, I learned a lot about Stella.
Stella is lively. She'd like to be one of those sleek, elegant burlesque performers, but right now, she just wants to to have a whole lot of fun mixing dance moves in with her teasing. Not too much dancing - taking it off does seem to be the point. Right now, Stella's fascinated with the tune "Stripper's Delight", which is a brisk, romping number that lasts only 2:45 minutes. Stella may need to go a bit slower . .
Stella is not perfect, but parts of her are excellent. And if she drapes that blouse just right, there are some "dang" moments. (I would like to pause and thank my mommy for Stella's gams. Again, not perfect, but pretty fine.) Stella is going to add crunches to her morning yoga routine.
Once I find a decent pair of heels she can't fall off, and anchor that wayward pastie, Stella will be on her way. She wants me to take her to the End of Prohibition party in Ferndale on Saturday to see Lily LaRue. It could happen.
Stella is lively. She'd like to be one of those sleek, elegant burlesque performers, but right now, she just wants to to have a whole lot of fun mixing dance moves in with her teasing. Not too much dancing - taking it off does seem to be the point. Right now, Stella's fascinated with the tune "Stripper's Delight", which is a brisk, romping number that lasts only 2:45 minutes. Stella may need to go a bit slower . .
Stella is not perfect, but parts of her are excellent. And if she drapes that blouse just right, there are some "dang" moments. (I would like to pause and thank my mommy for Stella's gams. Again, not perfect, but pretty fine.) Stella is going to add crunches to her morning yoga routine.
Once I find a decent pair of heels she can't fall off, and anchor that wayward pastie, Stella will be on her way. She wants me to take her to the End of Prohibition party in Ferndale on Saturday to see Lily LaRue. It could happen.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
More Haiku du Jour
Bitter coffee blights
The blossom of my morning
Like an unkind frost.
When did I become
So delicate a flower?
Once I was rugged.
Once I could drink coffee
Made with grounds and a tube sock.
Those days are long gone.
The blossom of my morning
Like an unkind frost.
When did I become
So delicate a flower?
Once I was rugged.
Once I could drink coffee
Made with grounds and a tube sock.
Those days are long gone.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Burlesque Diary, Part 3
The pasties, the bra, the boa, the gloves the dress. Yes. Today was the big time - taking most of it off, to the tune of "Harlem Nocturne", which I fortunately have on my burlesque music CD. (That hardly ever happens with a dance class - lucky me!) We started slow, first with boas (which are so fun and flirty. How did I make it past 40 without a boa? What was I thinking?) Boas are great - show, cover up, show, cover up, discard with a flourish. (As Lily said, burlesque is the art of making the little big, and making the big little).
Gloves were great, too - tease slooooowly, one finger at a time, ease them off, twirl and fling. My dress was a bit of a challenge - it's best if the back zipper is low, so you can just reach up the back to start it going. My dress? Zipper started at the neck. I had to fudge by pulling down to a reachable level. Turn your back, unzip. Turn to the front, one arm out, both arms out, hold dress up, show the back, ease down, bend over, puddle on floor, step out without killing self. Repeat with bra.
Now, I had excellent intentions of stripping down to pasties, but the dang tape wouldn't stick at the studio. It worked just fine at home, of course. So, I improvised but putting my shocking pink burlesque brassiere over my unitard. It came off just fine, but I realized that the unitard was a bit - um -inadequate for my front. No surprises occurred, though. My compadres did a lovely job of attaching their pasties, and they even color-coordinated their lingerie to the pasties. Red and black. Grey leopard print with pewter grey pasties. And when their brassieres hit the floor, they all looked FINE. Pasties make everything fabulous, dontcha know.
One of best things burlesque can give you is the realization that even if you are not perfect, most of you is excellent, regardless of shape or size. And some parts of you are probably better than excellent. And then there's that darn-I'm-good energy that we all need but have a hard time finding. I showed up for class a bit down, and I left feeling completely back to my perky self. I don't need Zoloft or Paxil, I need fun, heavily laced with slow music and sequins. And a burlesque name - I'm considering "Stella Soiree".
Try some burlesque - I think every woman's life needs some pasties, a feather boa, and good feelings.
Gloves were great, too - tease slooooowly, one finger at a time, ease them off, twirl and fling. My dress was a bit of a challenge - it's best if the back zipper is low, so you can just reach up the back to start it going. My dress? Zipper started at the neck. I had to fudge by pulling down to a reachable level. Turn your back, unzip. Turn to the front, one arm out, both arms out, hold dress up, show the back, ease down, bend over, puddle on floor, step out without killing self. Repeat with bra.
Now, I had excellent intentions of stripping down to pasties, but the dang tape wouldn't stick at the studio. It worked just fine at home, of course. So, I improvised but putting my shocking pink burlesque brassiere over my unitard. It came off just fine, but I realized that the unitard was a bit - um -inadequate for my front. No surprises occurred, though. My compadres did a lovely job of attaching their pasties, and they even color-coordinated their lingerie to the pasties. Red and black. Grey leopard print with pewter grey pasties. And when their brassieres hit the floor, they all looked FINE. Pasties make everything fabulous, dontcha know.
One of best things burlesque can give you is the realization that even if you are not perfect, most of you is excellent, regardless of shape or size. And some parts of you are probably better than excellent. And then there's that darn-I'm-good energy that we all need but have a hard time finding. I showed up for class a bit down, and I left feeling completely back to my perky self. I don't need Zoloft or Paxil, I need fun, heavily laced with slow music and sequins. And a burlesque name - I'm considering "Stella Soiree".
Try some burlesque - I think every woman's life needs some pasties, a feather boa, and good feelings.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Burlesque Diary, Part 2
Today was arts and crafts day. The lovely Lily put together little ziplock bags of materials, and brought plenty of scissors and glue for the class - pastie making. Not the meat pie pastie - think nipple covers.
Most public decency laws require an absence of complete nudity to be legal, hence, pasties and g-strings. According to Lily, Detroit strip artists are relatively modest, wearing full rear-coverage panties. In Grand Rapids, the center of the Dutch Reformed Church in Michigan, thongs rule (less restrictive ordinances.) Who'd have thought?
Any way, it's a very simple process. Take some cross-stitch canvas, and cut out a circle that covers your own nipple and aureola (I retired to the Ladies to be absolutely sure everything important was covered.) Cut to the center, make a judicious fold (pancakes vs party hats) and glue. After making this base, take a yard or so of sequins and the bottle of Fabri-tac glue, and glue the sequins around in overlapping rows.
It took on almost a Zen-like rhythm - tap on glue, tamp down sequins, mold with thumbs, discuss life. One adventurous lady went for the two-toned look - red and black spirals. At the end, they looked like luscious lollipops. One went with pewter gray - very sophisticated - and another snagged the holographic red ones - wow. They weren't merely sparkly red, they glowed. Note to self: holographic sequins rock.
Lily discussed variations as we tacked and pressed - she wanted to pass on a skill, not a party favor. If you cut a little hole in the middle and thread a tassel through before glueing and decorating, you will have tassel pasties. If you go to the fishing section of any big box store and find a lure thingy and attach it to the back of the tassel before threading through the base, you will have twirly tassels (hello, WalMart). We all brain-stormed on future pastie designs. Being highly-caffeineated, my taste ran toward Hello Kitty or skulls-and-crossbones for a pirate theme, but that was before I saw the holographic sequins.
Attaching the little darlings to les girls is actually easy - you can do double-sided Hollywood tape from Jo-Ann Fabrics, or toupee tape from Sally's Beauty Supply. Toupee tapes wins (it's cheaper!)
Moi? I went with a mauve pink. I took a photo, and they look like big buttons or tiny party hats (no, I can't get it into this post. Rats. No big deal - they were just laying in the palm of my hand.) And yes, I look BAD in my dainty mauve pasties. Very, very bad.
Next week - dresses and feather boas.
Most public decency laws require an absence of complete nudity to be legal, hence, pasties and g-strings. According to Lily, Detroit strip artists are relatively modest, wearing full rear-coverage panties. In Grand Rapids, the center of the Dutch Reformed Church in Michigan, thongs rule (less restrictive ordinances.) Who'd have thought?
Any way, it's a very simple process. Take some cross-stitch canvas, and cut out a circle that covers your own nipple and aureola (I retired to the Ladies to be absolutely sure everything important was covered.) Cut to the center, make a judicious fold (pancakes vs party hats) and glue. After making this base, take a yard or so of sequins and the bottle of Fabri-tac glue, and glue the sequins around in overlapping rows.
It took on almost a Zen-like rhythm - tap on glue, tamp down sequins, mold with thumbs, discuss life. One adventurous lady went for the two-toned look - red and black spirals. At the end, they looked like luscious lollipops. One went with pewter gray - very sophisticated - and another snagged the holographic red ones - wow. They weren't merely sparkly red, they glowed. Note to self: holographic sequins rock.
Lily discussed variations as we tacked and pressed - she wanted to pass on a skill, not a party favor. If you cut a little hole in the middle and thread a tassel through before glueing and decorating, you will have tassel pasties. If you go to the fishing section of any big box store and find a lure thingy and attach it to the back of the tassel before threading through the base, you will have twirly tassels (hello, WalMart). We all brain-stormed on future pastie designs. Being highly-caffeineated, my taste ran toward Hello Kitty or skulls-and-crossbones for a pirate theme, but that was before I saw the holographic sequins.
Attaching the little darlings to les girls is actually easy - you can do double-sided Hollywood tape from Jo-Ann Fabrics, or toupee tape from Sally's Beauty Supply. Toupee tapes wins (it's cheaper!)
Moi? I went with a mauve pink. I took a photo, and they look like big buttons or tiny party hats (no, I can't get it into this post. Rats. No big deal - they were just laying in the palm of my hand.) And yes, I look BAD in my dainty mauve pasties. Very, very bad.
Next week - dresses and feather boas.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Burlesque Diary, Pt. 1
I did it. I signed up for a series of burlesque lessons with the lovely and talented Lily LaRue, a local performance artist. Her Snowflake fan dance on YouTube caught my eye, and my fevered imagination conjured up my next life project: Fandancer by Fifty. Well, if you gotta turn 50, you might as well make it fun.
And burlesque is fun - it's artistic, expressive, and pretty. The fact that there's a sizeable burlesque underground in Detroit is a fitting yin to cyberporn's very unrealistic yang - slow, pretty, sparkly, and all about the process, not the goal.
So, this Saturday I showed up for my first class. There are four of us - me, an office manager/engineer (the economy sucks), a stay-at home mom, and a former female wrestler who believes burlesque is her true calling. All normal, all with hidden talents marinating below the surface. All had very nice legs, all were a bit conscious of our weight, and the the other three displayed very nice panties when we got to the skirts-off part. Me, I wore yoga pants. I'm not sure my derriere needs to see daylight yet - or my underwear. Somehow, I think shopping can fix this . . .
At any rate, after a nice history of burlesque and a stretch, we donned our heels, button down shirts, and skirts, and went to work. We strutted, we unbuttoned the buttons sloooooooooooowly, and we got out of the skirts without hurting ourselves. And we teased. Damn, teasing feels GOOD. Really good. And it was over much too soon. Can't wait for next week.
Next time: Pastie making workshop. (a. Pah-stee: a pot pie. b. Pay-stee: Sparkly nipple covers.) We're making (b).
And burlesque is fun - it's artistic, expressive, and pretty. The fact that there's a sizeable burlesque underground in Detroit is a fitting yin to cyberporn's very unrealistic yang - slow, pretty, sparkly, and all about the process, not the goal.
So, this Saturday I showed up for my first class. There are four of us - me, an office manager/engineer (the economy sucks), a stay-at home mom, and a former female wrestler who believes burlesque is her true calling. All normal, all with hidden talents marinating below the surface. All had very nice legs, all were a bit conscious of our weight, and the the other three displayed very nice panties when we got to the skirts-off part. Me, I wore yoga pants. I'm not sure my derriere needs to see daylight yet - or my underwear. Somehow, I think shopping can fix this . . .
At any rate, after a nice history of burlesque and a stretch, we donned our heels, button down shirts, and skirts, and went to work. We strutted, we unbuttoned the buttons sloooooooooooowly, and we got out of the skirts without hurting ourselves. And we teased. Damn, teasing feels GOOD. Really good. And it was over much too soon. Can't wait for next week.
Next time: Pastie making workshop. (a. Pah-stee: a pot pie. b. Pay-stee: Sparkly nipple covers.) We're making (b).
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tanka du jour
A Heian lady
Would blacken her teeth, shave her
Eyebrows, drawing new ones in,
Arcing like black moths.
Would I follow suit
and be fashion's slave?
I've picked up my Genji Monogatari again, and I admire those tough Japanese heroines who had to work so piece together a life behind walls. I think I might be temperamentally unsuited to the time.
Would blacken her teeth, shave her
Eyebrows, drawing new ones in,
Arcing like black moths.
Would I follow suit
and be fashion's slave?
I've picked up my Genji Monogatari again, and I admire those tough Japanese heroines who had to work so piece together a life behind walls. I think I might be temperamentally unsuited to the time.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Dita Dream
I want to be a
Fan dancer by age 50 -
What a way to go!
It may be early senility, or latent madness, but I want to be Dita von Teese when I grow up. There's a lot working against it - weight, glasses, varicose veins, a loathing of high heels - but, you never know.
Fan dancer by age 50 -
What a way to go!
It may be early senility, or latent madness, but I want to be Dita von Teese when I grow up. There's a lot working against it - weight, glasses, varicose veins, a loathing of high heels - but, you never know.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tanka and Haiku du jour
Wanted - one good man
Not brat, prince, tyrant, or boss -
I only want a good man
Not one who acts good,
A faux Prince Charming.
Internet dating
Is like fishing - looking for
The pearl among clams.
I went to dinner with some friends who both were experimenting with internet dating scenes. Both told me not to be too honest about what I want, for fear of putting off potential dates. But, I said, that was my plan. Some people I want to put off. Maybe I'm not getting the spirit of the thing.
Not brat, prince, tyrant, or boss -
I only want a good man
Not one who acts good,
A faux Prince Charming.
Internet dating
Is like fishing - looking for
The pearl among clams.
I went to dinner with some friends who both were experimenting with internet dating scenes. Both told me not to be too honest about what I want, for fear of putting off potential dates. But, I said, that was my plan. Some people I want to put off. Maybe I'm not getting the spirit of the thing.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Lily of the valley
Fragrant silver bells
Rise from a sea of green leaves
Joy enters the heart
I made this up for an online perfume draw - just trying to stand out from a sea of "pick me, pick me". Maybe it will work.
Rise from a sea of green leaves
Joy enters the heart
I made this up for an online perfume draw - just trying to stand out from a sea of "pick me, pick me". Maybe it will work.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Haiku du jour
On a slow work day,
One cannot check one's email
enough times, alas.
Ah, a no-work day -
Is chewing through my arm Zen?
Probably not.
One cannot check one's email
enough times, alas.
Ah, a no-work day -
Is chewing through my arm Zen?
Probably not.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sue's Haiku
An under-used mind
Becomes the devil's workshop.
Can cause much trouble
-S
Causing much trouble
Can be lots of fun, sometimes
But I'm adult.
-J
Becomes the devil's workshop.
Can cause much trouble
-S
Causing much trouble
Can be lots of fun, sometimes
But I'm adult.
-J
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Haiku du jour
An under-used mind
Is a mad whirlwind of thought
Especially mine
Work is good - really
It keeps my dark side busy,
calm, and distracted.
Is a mad whirlwind of thought
Especially mine
Work is good - really
It keeps my dark side busy,
calm, and distracted.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Haiku du jour 2
My best friends love me
Even if their birthday cards
Are still in my purse.
Happy B-day, Leslie!
Even if their birthday cards
Are still in my purse.
Happy B-day, Leslie!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Haiku du jour (for Leslie)
The Mouth is speaking -
Words gush, my zen calm shatters
Why wreck my Friday?
Words gush, my zen calm shatters
Why wreck my Friday?
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Conversation for Haiku and Tanka
L:
Olympic primetime
For Pac Coast time zone... really??
14 sleepy days
J:
14 sleepy days
Olympics tire Cali -
Coffee needed now
L:
Caffeine is a must
Olympic nights do exhaust
Make it a venti
Pollen. Olympics.
How will I ever survive?
Read inside eyelids
J:
Painful saffron dust
Reaches into your eyes and
Tells you spring is here -
Your misery keeps you up
As you watch the Olympics.
Olympic primetime
For Pac Coast time zone... really??
14 sleepy days
J:
14 sleepy days
Olympics tire Cali -
Coffee needed now
L:
Caffeine is a must
Olympic nights do exhaust
Make it a venti
Pollen. Olympics.
How will I ever survive?
Read inside eyelids
J:
Painful saffron dust
Reaches into your eyes and
Tells you spring is here -
Your misery keeps you up
As you watch the Olympics.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Haiku du jour
The in-laws were drunk,
Bridesmaids wore brown, cars were crashed -
Darling, let's elope.
Bridesmaids wore brown, cars were crashed -
Darling, let's elope.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Feb Haikus - Leslie
Celebrations near
Valentine's, Lunar New Year;
Red for Love and Luck!
WOO! I'm on a roll!
Caffeine, chocolate control;
Someone, please stop me!
Bad cologne wafting
My sinuses scream in pain
Oh geez! It's the Boss!
Valentine's, Lunar New Year;
Red for Love and Luck!
WOO! I'm on a roll!
Caffeine, chocolate control;
Someone, please stop me!
Bad cologne wafting
My sinuses scream in pain
Oh geez! It's the Boss!
The Great West Coast-Midwest Haiku Conversation
Leslie:
Mudslides in SoCal
Foggy days chilly nights North
Earthquakes, aren't we due
Brad:
Bathed in fresh powder
Children enjoying snow day
No mud slides, earthquakes
Leslie:
Mudslides, earthquakes...sure
East wears thermal, West wears "tees"
California dream
Brad:
East wears thermal..sure
Skiing, snowboarding, sledding
Mud slides, quakes, nightmare
Leslie:
Snow-capped Sierras
Snow sports await if we need
Sold the snowblower
Brad:
Fresh snow, easy to blow
Here comes the raging mud slide
Oops, where is my house?
LesLie:
NorCal is the place
No mud, just fault line worries
Waiting for THE quake
Thank you, Leslie Nixon and Brad Clancy!
Mudslides in SoCal
Foggy days chilly nights North
Earthquakes, aren't we due
Brad:
Bathed in fresh powder
Children enjoying snow day
No mud slides, earthquakes
Leslie:
Mudslides, earthquakes...sure
East wears thermal, West wears "tees"
California dream
Brad:
East wears thermal..sure
Skiing, snowboarding, sledding
Mud slides, quakes, nightmare
Leslie:
Snow-capped Sierras
Snow sports await if we need
Sold the snowblower
Brad:
Fresh snow, easy to blow
Here comes the raging mud slide
Oops, where is my house?
LesLie:
NorCal is the place
No mud, just fault line worries
Waiting for THE quake
Thank you, Leslie Nixon and Brad Clancy!
More Leslie Haiku du Jour
Mudslides in SoCal
Foggy days chilly nights North
Earthquakes, aren't we due?
We can go to snow
The snow does not come to us
California bliss
Foggy days chilly nights North
Earthquakes, aren't we due?
We can go to snow
The snow does not come to us
California bliss
Leslie's Haiku du Jour
You...bathed in powder
Snowy white, shovels humming
We...West Coast sunshine
Nothing says "love" like regional gloating. Thanks, Les!
Snowy white, shovels humming
We...West Coast sunshine
Nothing says "love" like regional gloating. Thanks, Les!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Tanka du jour
Coffee's in my blood -
Its looping jolt drives my life
Into the fast lane
Now gentle chai invites me
To go slow, in the spice lane.
Its looping jolt drives my life
Into the fast lane
Now gentle chai invites me
To go slow, in the spice lane.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Haiku du jour
Today's CD is
American celtic punk;
Already a good day.
(Compliments to the Dropkick Murphys!)
American celtic punk;
Already a good day.
(Compliments to the Dropkick Murphys!)
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
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